Cease & Desist · Form TM-14
NO DEAL., PATAGONIA
A fleece company sued a drag queen. Now it's your turn to infringe your favorite brand.
Drag names are supposed to be brand puns — that's the whole genre, not a crime. So pick a logo, pick your twist, and meet your billion-dollar-brand-collision drag alter-ego: a campy wordmark, a po-faced cease-and-desist box, and one Sharpie-scrawled “No deal.” stamped diagonally across the whole thing. The gag is the asymmetry — a legal department needs 50 pages; your queen needs two words. You can't sue all of us at once.
Served notices, already filed
Cease & Desist · Form TM-14
NO DEAL., PATAGONIA
Columbina
Tested tough. The lawsuit isn't.
CEASE AND DESIST — Your name creates a LIKELIHOOD OF CONFUSION in the marketplace. We are required to enforce uniformly. Comply within fourteen (14) days.
Cease & Desist · Form TM-14
NO DEAL., PATAGONIA
Meryl
Sash: Miss Access. The outdoors is for everybody — that's the whole platform.
CEASE AND DESIST — Consumers may experience a LIKELIHOOD OF CONFUSION between our footwear and your performances. We must protect what we have built. Within fourteen (14) days.
Cease & Desist · Form TM-14
NO DEAL., PATAGONIA
Nadia Jean
1 litre of hydration, clipped to the pack, already past the trailhead.
CEASE AND DESIST — Your persona may cause a LIKELIHOOD OF CONFUSION with our vessel. We must remain consistent in defending our rights. Comply within fourteen (14) days.